"Feeling normal"

Ahh. It's nice to have moments of "normal" now and again. Today mostly was a "flat" day, meaning I felt like a deflated balloon. But this evening, I've had a few minutes of feeling *normal*. I do wish it'd last all day.

Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy

One of my friends is sick and mentioned something about reality just being a construct to him now. I almost answered 'welcome to almost every day of my life'. That's really a good way of describing the fog that those of us with fibro and CFS get.

I'm having one of those foggy days today, pretty strong. I'm not surprised, after the stress of yesterday.

I can look at things and everything is clear, in focus... but the details don't necessarily register. And look away for a moment, and the details are gone.

I can be working on something -- like writing this blog, for instance -- and in the middle of a sentance have my entire train of thought come to a halt. This happens to a lot of people, even without CFS. But... have it happen every other sentance for anywhere from one second to 30.

That's what it's like to be tired in a brain fog.

And there's another aspect of daily life with CFS.... there was something else I was going to make sure I put on the blog, and I can't remember it. Ahh well, it'll come back eventually.

Oh, one thing I do remember. The past 2 weeks I've been typing at the couch more often than the computer. Almost exclusively, really. We've got the TV hooked up to the computer and I have a wireless mouse and keyboard. So I can sit back in comfort. I've been doing better.

Yesterday, I tried going back to the computer itself.

Here came the symptoms, so much worse again. Looking at the screen and not registering what I'm seeing. Being unable to read text because I just can't focus on it. Made trying out this new game rather difficult.

Now that I can think a little better...

Just for my own notes... the worst problem I had with CFS / Fibro was the ache and my legs and arms going tingly from poor circulation. They still ache.

Oof

Everything has a cost... in this case, the cost of the energy to go to the ER and such with hubby is a hard crash after.

On the plus side... it wasn't as bad as some of my energy crashes are. We'll see tomorrow.

Fun way to start the day...

/sarcasm

Woke up this morning to my husband saying "do you want to go to the emergency room with me?"

Um.. what?

2.5 hours later, he has Bell's Palsy. Which, luckily, is pretty much benign. Just very annoying.

On the plus side, I did fine fatigue-wise until time to drive home. Then, concentrating was all I needed to overcome it enough to drive.

Now, I'm fighting between nap need and still adrenaline-hyper. And of course my fibro's kicking in after the stress.

How many hours are there in a day?

Apparently, for me... 10-12.

I thought I was doing fairly well today. Then I did the math.

As usual, it's still only about 10-12 hours that I can function, and that *with* a nap in the middle.

*sigh*

Perplexing pulse

I've been taking my pulse periodically through the day the past few days just to see what sort of pattern (if any) there is. I know it's normal for pulse rate to vary through the day, I just think some of the behavior of my pulse rate (and others with CFS who have done the same thing) is a bit bizarre.

For example... I forgot to take it when I first woke up this morning before getting up. But, after getting up, going to the bathroom, walking to the kitchen, getting a frozen breakfast from the freezer, getting a paper plate, putting the food on the paper plate, and putting it in the microwave... my pulse was 116.

My target heart rate for exercise is supposed to be about 111-160. I hit that with *normal* morning activity. No caffeine, nothing to drink, I wasn't stressed...

And I had no trouble at all finding a pulse to measure.

Now, though.... I'm feeling a fatigue slump coming on -- my usual afternoon thing. You'd think I don't *have* a pulse, with how hard it is for me to find it right now. After quite a bit of hunting, I found it and it's 80. This is *with* caffeine, having eaten, but granted I've been sitting on the couch relaxing for a bit.

My resting rate seems to be between 75 and 82.