Phew. I do hate fatigue.

Okay, so yesterday I took the functional capacity exam. 3-3.5 hours in the office, of which about an hour and a half was doing exercises. Maybe a little more. After questionnaires, and interview, he had me walk on a treadmill until I couldn't go any farther. To the point of being afraid of falling off type. I only made 5 minutes. That's pathetic. Put me on a mountain trail or at the Disney parks and I'll go farther :p But then, on vacation adrenaline will kick in and I'll pay for it later. *sigh*

Anyway, after that we did the lifting stuff, and pushing, etc. Then grips. Then bending (that one was easy. The pose he wanted was one I do all the time to stretch/relax my back. Then squats. I got 16 before my legs would not lift me again and I had to use my arms.

I felt a lot better after the test, of all things. More alert and awake. Yay endorphins or whatever. But those wore off and the "headband" of the headache came back within 30 minutes.

Went for lunch after that (yummy Indian food. Found a great buffet) then about fifteen minutes at the book store (I was looking for more mandalas to color. Very relaxing), and by the time we got to mom's house, I was wiped out.

Slept *HARD* for about 2.5 hours. Only got up after that so my mom's neighbor (a nurse) could give me my shot.

Then watched a movie, hubby picked me up and brought me home, I ate dinner... then was in bed at 9:30.

My natural biorhythms are more like 10:30 am - 2am. With naps. Going to bed at 9:30 when I'd already had one hurt. :p I wanted to write and do embroidery or watch TV, but I couldn't stay awake. :(

And then I slept straight through (other than bathroom a couple of times) until 10:30 am.

Over 12 hours.

And even then, I only got up because I *really* needed to get something to eat and drink. And then it was right back to bed again for another 5 hours. Slept just as hard.

Some people may say this is just over-sleeping or something, but no. I couldn't focus on the TV screen or the computer screen or embroidery or anything really when I was eating dinner.

I even went back for *another* nap, only it turned into more like meditation than a nap since I didn't quite sleep. And that was only for about an hour and a half.

Got up and felt great... for all of 2 hours. And now, the glaze or fog is starting to settle in *again*.

And on a I guess you'd say more metaphysical note... I've been getting interested in some of the "energy system" stuff of Chinese medicine. You know, chakra points and meridians and such that tie to acupressure and acupuncture. After several different martial arts and yoga classes, I can sorta "see" (hard to describe) the "ball of energy" at the chakras. It's a pure visualization exercise. Well, last week when I was helping mom upstairs, the chakras were strong. Like little miniature suns. The past couple of days though, it's so, so much weaker.

Funny thing though... I can still remember that list of 15 words that I had to do for that neuropsych exam on Thursday that I tried a "memory palace" technique. It works :D

Also something to note... I was looking for a picture for my facebook profile. Went as far back as 3 years ago. You can *see* the change in my energy levels just in pictures of me. It's a very noticable change from the England trip 3 years ago to the one 2 years ago to the trip last fall then my WDW trip this spring and a Cali trip. Very, very noticeable difference.

So, a little background

I've never had the stamina of my peers. At least not since I had mono in high school. But while annoying, it wasn't "disabling". I had no problem with school, made it through for my bachelor's in Geophysics, then worked full time for a few years before I added getting my Master's (while working) to my schedule. And participating in the embroidery guild. I was even designing my own patterns.

Long way of saying, I was burning the candle at both ends and the middle, and we always joked that I'd eventually run out of candle.

Well, once I finally got my Master's... yeah. There went the candle. Fatigue finally set in entirely, and it hasn't left me since. That was over a year ago.

The nice thing is it waxes and wanes... so some months, I've been able to go on vacations and other than the fact that I had to drop the embroidery guild and going out with friends, I can carry on a fairly normal life.

Make that could.

Past few months, I've fallen into a slump and other than a good day here and there, I'm pretty much able to get about 6-8 *functional* hours in a day. The rest of the time, I can maybe watch TV... lie down and think... hm... that's about it. Do you know how boring and frustrating that can get?

And those are on typical days. Oh, those hours are also in 2 clumps of 3-4 hours each.

Bad days, it can be a struggle just to get out of bed, take a shower, and get to the kitchen to eat.

So, needless to say, I'm wanting to find something that will make me feel better. To go from enough energy to work full time and go to school and still play games and such...to the brain stuttering when trying to write even at my best of times? Not fun. Very frustrating, to say the least.

And I don't even have it as bad as some do.

Current status? A friend pointed me to a specialist here in town who has put me on ATP shots. And... they're helping! Only minorly so far, but I've only barely begun. Not enough I can go back to work yet (and I'm lucky -- I still have a job, even if I *am* on medical leave no pay for up to a year)... but we're working on it.